Hi everyone! Because I'm the type of person that simply feels the need to always explain myself, let me explain why I've been MIA.
As any college student would say, time feels scarce during the week. Monday through Friday is a constant stream of assignments and due dates, and by the weekend all I have the energy to do is sleep and begrudgingly do the laundry that has piled up.
Basically, I've been busy.
And yes, I know—typical blogger saying. If it's not burnout, it's busyness that keeps us away from our platforms. But here's the thing: I've not been away because I wanted to be, I've been away because I've put my passions on the back-burner.
You've probably heard this before, but we live in a society that is absolutely dominated by the idea of productivity and checking to-do lists. While this is usually a great feeling and a great external motivator for me, I've realized that I've grown a little too dependent on it.
Let me give you an example: I don't start class until 10 A.M. every day of the week, but I naturally wake up around 7-8 A.M. At the beginning of the term, I'd usually use those 2-3 hours before class for leisure activities that I enjoy, like reading, interacting with people on social media, or doing yoga. Yet as the term progressed and my to-do list began getting longer and more high-stakes, I began feeling this pressure to get started on my tasks as soon as I woke up.
At first, this made me feel good. I felt a burst of satisfaction if I was able to get a task or two done before most of my hall even woke up. I told myself that this was simply getting my day started "on the right track," and that I'd give myself leisure time "later."
Except that'd never happen. Instead, I'd be in a go-go-go! mood until I felt too exhausted to even think about reading anything that wasn't mandatory for a class. (which is why I've only finished 2/25 books of my GR challenge and it's already March. *cries*)
Okay, that sucks... but so what?
To that, I'd say that this experience of honestly feeling pretty crappy as of lately has taught me a few things about myself and my attitude towards productivity.
Self-care isn't a term that people throw around on social media just because it sounds nice. It actually makes a significant difference in your mood/day/outlook on your life.
While productivity is indeed important to being successful, every single day is not going to be as productive as the next.
That's okay!
In fact: productivity doesn't even have to be academic/career-oriented. Sometimes productivity comes in the form of giving yourself a break even though you have a to-do list.
Sometimes, giving yourself a break can not only make you feel more motivated to get back into your tasks, but can also help with the quality of your work!
Related: a small amount of good quality tasks completed in a day ≥ a large amount of tasks done poorly. (Because let's face it: you'll have to go back and redo them eventually).
Life happens. Things come up or don't go your way. It doesn't mean that you're wasting time or that your entire day is void.
Above all, if you're struggling with something and you're getting frustrated about it, sometimes it helps to simply take a deep breath and begin again.
If I'm learning anything from being totally on my own for the first time in my life, it's that I am more resilient and dedicated than I give myself credit for. I also think that this is a common thing in our society—the fact that we tend to talk large about our downfalls but talk small about our assets. If that resonates with you at all, remember to be gentle with yourself when that voice that tells you you're not (doing) enough creeps in, please.
This is something that I'm still reminding myself to do, too. Let's it try together? ♥️
Lastly, I want to reference someone who inspired this blog post (as if I don't talk about her enough on my blog at this point). Kalyn Nicholson's podcast "Coffee Talk" is a great way to get 30 minute pep talks and general advice.
I love her, she's amazing. (Okay, I'll stop gushing now...#girlcrush)
Until next time ♥️